1
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,456
[Snoring]
2
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,462
FITZ:
The worst part about a curse
3
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:30,421
isn't the bad shit
that happens to you.
4
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:33,859
Any schmuck can weather
a little misery.
5
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,472
Hell, most people
actually enjoy it.
6
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:42,390
No, the worst part
about a curse
7
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,088
is that your luck's
turned to shit.
8
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,134
[Groaning]
9
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,485
Snake eyes.
10
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,095
Great.
11
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,880
It's a voodoo mind fuck.
12
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,795
Solutions turn into problems,
13
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:59,407
and problems
turn into nightmares
14
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,496
and suddenly...
15
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:04,760
Nothing makes sense anymore.
16
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,111
Happens when you mix
atophan with booze.
17
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,331
How'd you get in here?
18
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,116
Shit.
19
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,422
I get it.
20
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,902
It's a dream, isn't it?
21
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It's totally a dream.
22
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:20,993
If I know that,
23
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I can control it.
24
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All right, ladies.
25
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,699
Let's get to it.
26
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,267
I don't know how long
this dream is going to last,
27
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:36,705
but I do know this threesome
isn't going to start itself.
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00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,402
Richard, you are awake
29
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,231
and you have
a pronounced erection.
30
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,191
[Women giggling]
31
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,453
Wow.
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♪
33
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♪ Without you
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00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:58,030
♪ I find my smile
35
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,772
♪ Without you
36
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:03,340
♪ I won
by a mile ♪
37
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,821
♪ Without you
38
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:09,433
♪ Oh, life would be
so grand ♪
39
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,392
♪ Without you
40
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,611
♪ I'm half a man
41
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:17,224
♪ Without you
42
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,274
♪ Without you...
43
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♪ Without you
44
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It's policy,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
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00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,631
You need a licence to sell
46
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:35,242
and, due to your
fraudulent practices,
47
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,852
yours has been revoked.
48
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,680
Which means you're nothing
around here.
49
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,986
Jesus, let's try
and be professional here.
50
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,771
- Professional?
- Yeah.
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00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,643
You just petitioned customers
for an orgy.
52
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,297
And they said yes.
53
00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:50,039
You're up on criminal charges
for breaking into my apartment.
54
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,258
All you've done
is prove my point.
55
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,476
I got enough hassles.
56
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,217
And I guy's got a right
to earn a living.
57
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,045
You stole my panties.
58
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,047
Oh, I think we both know
what this is about.
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00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,441
Hey, you know about
this power trip
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00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,965
that your psycho smile factory
is taking?
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00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,968
No clue, but if it pisses you
off, I'll back her.
62
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,100
Ooh, are we having a meeting?
63
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,059
No, we're playing a game
called "shut the fuck up."
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00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,060
You go first.
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00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,496
Okay, I'll--
KEN: Ah, ah, ah.
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Don't blow it, kid.
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00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,412
The sign outside says
"Fitzpatrick Motors."
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I'm a partner.
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00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,067
You're a blowjob
that went wrong.
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00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,851
What about me?
You can't even
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00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,505
win a game
of "shut the fuck up."
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00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,855
What the skirt says goes.
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00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,990
DOT:
Sales floor's off limits until
you pass your dealers exam.
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00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,948
Sorry.
75
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,394
Oh, fuck.
76
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:47,966
It's like
I always say, Richard
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00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,098
Embrace big obstacles
78
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,752
and problems will turn
into big assets.
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00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,841
Shut up, Larry. This is just
a stupid dealership exam.
80
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,539
For which I did suggest you
rewrite several dozen times.
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00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,367
Oh, you want to take credit
for my ideas now?
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00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,630
Are you a walking conscience
or a walking ego?
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00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,937
Besides, I'm not taking
the exam. You are.
84
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,547
And I don't feel
very comfortable
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00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,810
impersonating you
for an exam.
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00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:09,814
No, Richard, that's the line
for the specials.
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00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:11,773
Shh.
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00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,210
Well, hello. Hm.
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00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,951
I'm Richard,
Richard Fitzpatrick.
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00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,953
Oh. I'm Fuck,
Don't Give a Fuck,
91
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,346
and you're in
the wrong line.
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00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783
Oh, we are so sorry.
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00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,176
Can I help you
with anything?
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00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:27,310
Oh. Apotemnophilia, huh?
95
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,356
Interesting.
96
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:30,748
Here's my card.
97
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,402
Call me when you need
a new short bus.
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00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,404
Or anything else.
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00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,101
It's not likely.
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00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,190
WOMAN:
Next.
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00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:42,630
This is Richard Fitzpatrick.
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He's here to take
his dealership exam.
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Hello.
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00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,156
I'll need some photo ID.
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00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,158
Yeah. Right.
106
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,986
Here you go.
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00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:52,509
[Clearing throat]
108
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,993
Doesn't look a thing
like him.
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Hey--
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Oh fuck.
Look, Richard,
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00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,606
I know academics
aren't your "thing,"
112
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,087
but you can do this.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
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00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,219
[Snickering]
114
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,656
[Clearing throat]
115
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,180
Richard Fitzpatrick
isn't afraid of shit.
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♪
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00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,667
[Intercom beeping]
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SONJA:
Mr. Fitzpatrick,
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I have a Dr. Rollands
on line 1.
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Am I a dead man or what?
121
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,328
WOMAN, OVER PHONE:
As I mentioned,
Mr. Fitzpatrick,
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00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,112
testicular cancer
responds very well to--
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00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,375
Quack. Double-talk bullshit.
124
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,159
I think we have it
well in hand.
125
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,900
Did you find someone
who will pick you up
126
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,076
after the procedure?
127
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,340
Nah. I ain't got nobody.
128
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,124
Well, you have to find someone.
129
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,126
It's hospital regulation.
130
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,823
Regulate this.
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[Exhaling]
132
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,266
[Drill whirring]
133
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,268
Fuck me.
134
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,320
Dude, listen, the flight landed
15 minutes ago.
135
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,627
How long does it take
to pass 40 condoms of cocaine?
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00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,846
That's not--
137
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,635
Just dish soap, a quart of milk,
okay? It works fine.
138
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I don't care if you ate cheese.
I got to go.
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00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,029
[Phone hanging up]
140
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,117
Hey, boss.
141
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,597
What the fuck
are you doing?
142
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:24,775
Oh, I was just trying
to track a shipment of parts.
143
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,387
I'm just running low on--
On some parts
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that I ordered.
145
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:31,086
I got more customers
than product, you know?
146
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:33,523
Jack up the price. Whoever
doesn't want to pay fucks off.
147
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,873
Then you got plenty
of product.
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00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:39,007
Basic supply and demand, jerkoff.
149
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,530
I need a lift.
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00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,010
Uh...
151
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:46,449
You mean like smack,
speed, PCP?
152
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,103
A ride, moron.
153
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,887
Weed?
154
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,498
In a car.
Oh. Oh, vodka.
155
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,673
I got a guy for that.
156
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,762
Who the fuck hired you?!
157
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,459
Jesus!
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00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:02,117
If there is anything you need,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
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00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:06,077
What I need is for everyone
to shut the fuck up!
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00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:10,821
[Door slamming]
161
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:13,781
How did I fail
that exam twice?
162
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,044
You were just underprepared.
163
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,959
Maybe nervous?
164
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,177
Oh, whatever.
165
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,396
Hey, buddy.
Ah!
166
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,398
Hey, where are you going,
Richard?
167
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,226
You shouldn't be alone
at a time like this.
168
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:27,664
To fuck, smoke or drink
something. Preferably all 3.
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00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,624
[Car engine starting]
170
00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,505
[Inhaling]
171
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,464
JOSH:
Check it out.
172
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,378
This is my masterpiece.
173
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:49,033
The DSE.
Drug Stock Exchange.
174
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,818
It's all about
supply and demand.
175
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,820
With all that shit
that's going on in Mexico,
176
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,082
cocaine demand is high.
177
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,649
So if I put all my money
into ecstasy futures
178
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:58,434
and beat the margin call--Yeah, yeah, yeah.
179
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,001
Forget it, Josh.
I'm busted.
180
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,046
I'm so fucking broke
I'm living with Larry.
181
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,047
- Don't you get it?
- JOSH: I get it--
182
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,223
Richard, what does this say?
183
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,661
"Pots," dumbass.
184
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,097
Really?
185
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,490
I need to get
my eyes checked.
186
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,667
I know why you failed
your test.
187
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:18,062
You are special.
188
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,243
Ow. What are you do--?
Watch it.
189
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,636
Come on, Richard.
190
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,638
When life gives you lemons--I didn't get lemons.
191
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,641
I got a flaming bag of shit.
You're saying I'm retarded.
192
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,991
That term isn't really used anymore.
193
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,863
Not in front of retards
it isn't.
194
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,039
You just read things differently.
195
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,432
So buck up Zetif.
196
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,304
Zetif?
Yes.
197
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,784
That is your name,
198
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,613
at least how you would read it
using your dyslexic words.
199
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,049
Now you listen to me, mister.
200
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,051
Get your hands off me.
201
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,313
We are not retarded, okay?
202
00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:54,708
We are differently capable.
Like Bat Boy.
203
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,492
an aspiring child
who is blind
204
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:58,973
yet navigates the world
using echolocation.
205
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,017
Like a bat.
206
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:02,193
Remind me why
I give a fuck?
207
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:07,155
Uh, well, thanks to
the worldwide media coverage,
208
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,809
the grant money poured in
209
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:13,204
and he was able to renovate his
school and it blind-friendly.
210
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,118
Grant money?
211
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,555
Yes, sir.
212
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,254
Hey, where are you going?
213
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,169
To get retarded.
214
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:25,565
Look, lady,
I'm telling you,
215
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,916
I'm a retard.
I read shit backwards.
216
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,265
I'm not right in the head
217
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:33,094
and I demand to be recognized
as handicapped.
218
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,139
So I didn't win
the genetic lottery
219
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,229
and catch blindness
or spina bifida.
220
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,929
Does that mean I'm not
special enough for a 'tard card
221
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,191
or a grant?
222
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,585
What about this guy, huh?
223
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,805
I mean, sure, you'll call him
ugly behind his back
224
00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:51,025
and none of you broads
will bang him,
225
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:54,419
but you don't have the nuts
to recognize him as deformed.
226
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:55,725
You think he doesn't
have to deal
227
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:58,206
with adversity
with that face?
228
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,643
What about this guy, huh?
229
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:04,473
He doesn't quite measure down
to being a dwarf, does he?
230
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:07,084
You think he doesn't have
to reach up for shit?
231
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,564
You think this hobbit fucker
232
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,959
doesn't get called
a hobbit fucker all the time?
233
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:16,746
But no, he's just one inch
too tall to really cash in.
234
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:20,707
Oh, sure, you'll take a job
helping the disabled,
235
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,796
raking it in like that asshole
Jerry Lewis.
236
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,233
And what do we get? Nothing.
237
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,191
Well, not this time,
sugar tits.
238
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:30,064
Because I'm not leaving
until I get my due.
239
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:33,241
Because I am Richard Fitzpatrick,
240
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:36,113
and I am a retard.
241
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,638
[Smattering of applause]
242
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,857
WOMAN 1:
Yeah. Good for you.
243
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:41,945
MAN 1:
Way to go.
244
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,904
MAN 2:
You're a real retard, buddy.
245
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,036
He's one of us.
246
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,777
WOMAN 2:
We're all retards.
247
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,523
[Tires screeching][Horn honking]
248
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,394
MAN:
Fucking retard!
249
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,796
What the fuck?
250
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,058
A 'tard card?
251
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,191
How'd you score that?
252
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,979
You passed the test.
253
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:17,807
She let me take
the exam orally.
254
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,243
Were the questions hard?
255
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,115
Oral exam.
256
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:24,335
Oh, Richard. Really?
257
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:27,164
Just one of the many benefits
of being a 'tard, Larry.
258
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:29,471
I also scored a municipal
business grant.
259
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,821
City gave me enough money
to start construction
260
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,170
on the Summer Wind Lounge.
261
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,911
Dreams do happen.
262
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:38,088
Wait. Wait a grant
for the disabled?
263
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,394
Can you believe that shit?
264
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,178
I should have thought of this
a long time ago.
265
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,789
While I applaud
that you're embracing
266
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,094
your learning disability,
267
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,183
dyslexia's really not
a serious--
268
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,142
You know, I must confess,
there's a small part of me
269
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,970
that thinks you might be taking
advantage of the situation.
270
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,103
If those adorable Downs fuckers
get free baseball tickets,
271
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,192
the least I deserve
is enough scratch
272
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,933
to open my own watering hole.
273
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,892
Richard. Yeah, but Richard--
274
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,763
Ah!
275
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,341
LARRY:
I think someone wants you
276
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,430
to give back that grant money, Richard.
277
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,040
Is that what that said?
278
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,043
But maybe it's the shadow figure
who intends to murder you
279
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,349
on the beaver moon.
280
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,481
We got mangled limbs,
fake blood.
281
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,222
It's just a manifestation
of the prophecy.
282
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,223
[Gasping]
283
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,834
Oh, Richard.
284
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,226
The end is nigh.
285
00:12:29,226 --> 00:12:30,488
Really, Larry?
286
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,099
You want to let a little
stage blood
287
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:35,145
and some plastic gams stand
in the way of the Summer Wind?
288
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:38,845
Uh-uh. You can't get to the top
unless you step on a few toes.
289
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,412
KEN:
Hey, diapers. Get in here.
290
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,423
We need to talk.
291
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,599
I'll tell you what.
292
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,079
I'll save you some time.
293
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,689
"Everything you touch
turns to shit.
294
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,126
"I'm tired of you
wrecking my joint,
295
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:01,519
"crashing my cars.
You're a curse, motherfucker.
296
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,043
You get arrested too much."
297
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,132
Well, you know what, old man?
Go fuck yourself.
298
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,916
No one gives a shit
what you think.
299
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,179
That's not what I want
to talk about.
300
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,573
Really? Then what?
301
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,403
Come on, spit it out.
302
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:17,927
[Sighing]
303
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:20,060
[Sighing]
304
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,235
Fascinating.
305
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,717
[Snorting]
306
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:28,285
[Sighing]
307
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,123
Ow!
308
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,646
MAN 1: Nailed him.
Oh!
309
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,996
MAN 2:
Good one.
310
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,040
My turn.
311
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,085
Huh?
312
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,133
Well, hello,
Don't Give a Fuck.
313
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,656
Name's Laura, actually.
314
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,397
And you're
the dyslexic asshole
315
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,356
that got the grant money
instead of us, right?
316
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:57,532
Oh, and you're the assholes
that redecorated my office.
317
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,926
Little heavy with the red,
but I like your work.
318
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:00,927
MAN 1:
Asshole.
319
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,450
Oh!
320
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,581
I promised my boys
I'd use that money
321
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,018
to start a handicapped
escort service.
322
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,933
I know you're trying
to scare me,
323
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,413
but all you're doing
is turning me on.
324
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,067
Maybe we should talk about the
building permit you applied for
325
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,460
for your lame lounge.
326
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,244
What about it?
327
00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:17,073
You forgot to add wheelchair
access plans to your blueprints.
328
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:18,466
Bad, bad boy.
329
00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,163
That means that I can file
a complaint
330
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,817
and have you tied up
in red tape for,
331
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,037
oh, I don't know, years.
332
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,039
Please, haven't you ever heard
of a bribe?
333
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,389
Just limp along home.
I don't have time for this shit.
334
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,173
You don't know
who you're fucking with.
335
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,828
I'm handicapped, asshole,
and that means power.
336
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,612
We can park where we want,
piss in public,
337
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:37,006
touch people inappropriately.
338
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:40,053
I can get to you, Fitz.
Anywhere, anytime.
339
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:43,621
Are we still talking
about inappropriate touching?
340
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:46,320
You have until tomorrow
to get me my money back.
341
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,802
You can run, Fitz,
but you can't smell it.
342
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,936
Oh! Oh!
343
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,069
Oh, fuck.
344
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,984
Oh.
345
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,945
MAN 2:
Slow down.
346
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,252
[Lights buzzing]
347
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:20,789
You asked for it
and now you're going to get it.
348
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,101
Is this another dream?
349
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,929
You tell me.
350
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,978
This threesome ain't going
to start itself.
351
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,980
Maybe we should make it
a 4-way.
352
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,504
As long as it's not a dude.
353
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,767
[All laughing]
354
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,037
No.
355
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,734
No!
356
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:55,998
WOMEN, CHANTING:
Fitz. Fitz. Fitz. Fitz.
357
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:56,999
[Gasping]
358
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,522
Huh?
359
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:02,004
That retard Laura's
in my fucking nightmare now.
360
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:05,094
Richard, Laura is not
the R word, okay?
361
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,966
She has apotemnophilia.
362
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968
Yeah, whatever.
363
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,145
Wait, is that contagious?
364
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,321
Why? What did you do?
365
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,452
FITZ:
It's what I want to do.
366
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:17,498
She's on my list
of must-bang chicks.
367
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:20,022
You know, amputee, midget,
dental hygienist.
368
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,024
Richard, don't you see
what's happening here?
369
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:25,158
Instead of making things right,
you're making enemies
370
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,638
and consequently your nightmares
are growing stronger.
371
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:30,076
You need to make amends
before it's too late.
372
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:32,121
No, what I need
is that grant money.
373
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,601
Of course you did.
374
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,820
"Did," Larry?
Of course I did?
375
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,344
What happened to the money?
376
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,955
I took it out
of your account.
377
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,739
- What?
- Well, you left me no choice.
378
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,132
And as any good
conscience would, I--
379
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,960
You gave it back
to the feds?
380
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,875
The Summer Wind money?
My fucking money?
381
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:50,705
No, I didn't give it back.
I donated it.
382
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:53,664
What? Larry, I've got plans
to meet guys
383
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,057
to break ground there tomorrow.
384
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,798
Union guys.
385
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,104
If I gave it back,
it would have gone to Laura
386
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,975
who abuses the system
the same way you do.
387
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:03,065
So in an effort to reverse
this karmic catastrophe,
388
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,111
I donated it to those
who are truly in need.
389
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,809
Yeah, a group of poor,
fair-trade Colombian farmers
390
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,245
that Josh told me about.
391
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,639
Yeah, they grow poppies
for export.
392
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:15,034
Those are drug dealers, Larry.
393
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,165
Then--
394
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,124
Oh.
395
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,995
Get my money back, dickweed.
396
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,301
Now.
397
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,436
Drugs.
398
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,092
Mother of pearl.
399
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,402
I hear you got
your licence back.
400
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,925
Congratulations.
401
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,622
You've come to celebrate?
402
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,061
You going to take
your dress off now?
403
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:47,936
Oh!
404
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,634
Well, I guess this isn't
a dream.
405
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,071
From now on,
406
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,856
your paperwork
better be spotless.
407
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:56,292
Paperwork?
408
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,641
That's your big threat?
409
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,339
You think you know
all the angles, don't you?
410
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:02,124
Well, I've got news
for you, mister.
411
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,823
The one angle you can't play:
honesty.
412
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:10,089
Sooner or later,
413
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,829
you will screw up.
414
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,093
Oh, that's right.
415
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,399
You better be scared.
416
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,978
Oh, fuck.
417
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,067
Here, put these on my tab,
will you?
418
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,591
Guys with suitcases
don't get tabs.
419
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,594
I'll give your regards
to Cabo, Charlie.
420
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,730
Hello.
Oh, finally.
421
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:44,906
Are you shitting me?
Where's my money, Larry?
422
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:47,038
Mm, funny story, really.
423
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,910
I talked to Josh
about the grant money,
424
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:52,131
and it turns out he invested
it all in marijuana.
425
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,829
But then there was
a big hurricane in Jamaica
426
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,352
and something about
a margin call.
427
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:58,398
But you know what? In laymen's
terms, it's probably gone.
428
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,095
Jesus Christ.
No, no, it's just
429
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:03,316
a few dozen, thousand dollars
in the grand scheme of things.
430
00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,448
Don't worry, buddy. We'll find
a way to build your dream.
431
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,581
Dream? Dream?
432
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:10,323
Stop the rainbow,
glitter bullshit, Larry.
433
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,499
You just put the final nail
in my coffin.
434
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,891
You're talking to a dead guy.
435
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,284
Don't you talk like that, Richard.
436
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,765
I made a mistake.
I didn't mean to endanger you.
437
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,984
But maybe they won't
resort to violence.
438
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,161
You know, maybe we can sort this
out the old-fashioned way.
439
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,032
With a good old
heart-to-heart talk.
440
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,599
You let me know
how that goes.
441
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,035
Richard, you can't run away
from your problems.
442
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,341
You need to confront
your fears.
443
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,646
No, I don't.
444
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:30,778
You can't outrun the moon, buddy.
445
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,996
Yes, I can.
446
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,130
Oh,.
447
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:37,045
Oh, shit.
448
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,612
How did they find me?
449
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,135
Sorry, Fitz.
450
00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:43,182
Us 'tards stick together.
451
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,794
You double-crossing cyclops.
452
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,057
MAN:
Come on, guys.
453
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:50,798
You're not going anywhere.
454
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,626
No pushing.
455
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:02,853
Bad boy. You didn't give me
my grant money back.
456
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,246
Give me some time.
457
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,726
LAURA:
You're all out of time.
458
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,162
Saw.
459
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:12,080
I'm not going to lie to you.
This is going to hurt.
460
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,168
Okay, just hold still.
461
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,256
FITZ:
Larry.
462
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,562
A little help here?
463
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:16,606
Don't you hurt Richard.
464
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,219
FITZ:
Larry?
465
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,178
- Larry?
- Do it.
466
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,658
Come on.
467
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,007
Come on!
468
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,051
MAN 2:
Just do it.
469
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:31,099
[Saw stops whirring]
470
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:34,798
You handicapable thugs
ought to be ashamed of yourself
471
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,278
behaving like this.
472
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,628
Whatever happened
to your plucky enthusiasm,
473
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,151
your scrappy can-do attitude
474
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,980
and, oh, those arts and crafts
you love to make?
475
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,982
- WOMAN: Oh, fuck that.
- You're sick, lady.
476
00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:47,898
Normally, I'm down with that,
but you're really sick.
477
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,291
Yeah, I tried to warn you
about that, Richard.
478
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:52,076
About her disorder
that makes her want to--
479
00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:55,384
Yeah, you did seem
a little turned on
480
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,995
by the idea of sawing off
my arm, toots.
481
00:20:57,995 --> 00:21:00,084
Fuck you. I was not.
482
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,129
Oh, come on.
483
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,261
You cut off your own
arm and leg
484
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,697
because it turned
your crank.
485
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,568
Put it together, guys.
486
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:07,744
She wants to start
a handicapped escort agency,
487
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,616
she won't bang normal guys,
488
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:11,574
she's got her own
fucking bone saw.
489
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,054
I was born this way.
490
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:15,317
You said your mother
was on crack.
491
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,797
MAN 1:
Yeah, that's what I heard.
492
00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:19,234
Hm. Well, it doesn't matter
how I got this way.
493
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:21,149
This is how
I am supposed to be.
494
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:24,413
You hate me because I've got
something you'll never have.
495
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:26,285
Hm?
496
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,938
What have I got, Larry?
497
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,549
Dyslexia.
498
00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:30,941
- FITZ: Exactly.
- And?
499
00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:33,466
A crippling,
God-given handicap.
500
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,990
So what's it going to be, boys?
501
00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,340
Posse for the 'tard poser
502
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,125
or all us real gimps
going to stick together
503
00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:44,128
behind the velvet rope
at the Summer Wind Lounge
504
00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:47,871
with VIP access and free
cocktails ever night, huh?
505
00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:48,872
- MAN 2: He's one of us.
- MAN 3: Yeah.
506
00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:51,658
One of us! One of us!
507
00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:54,138
LAURA:
Hey, come on, guys.
508
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:56,184
ALL, CHANTING:
One of us! One of us!
509
00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:10,198
What are you, a ninja?
510
00:22:10,198 --> 00:22:12,635
[Chuckling]
511
00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:15,334
Am I speaking ching-chong?
512
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,031
Answer me.
513
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:19,729
Figured you could use
someone to yell at.
514
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:23,167
- I don't need this shit.
- Right.
515
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:27,302
You need people who shut up
and do what they're told
516
00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:29,957
before you even
tell them to do it.
517
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:32,873
People who don't ask questions.
518
00:22:32,873 --> 00:22:36,790
People you don't have to tell
that you've got cancer.
519
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:39,096
Wait, how did you--?
520
00:22:39,096 --> 00:22:41,882
It wasn't rocket science,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
521
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:43,579
The sudden change
in your mood,
522
00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:46,452
the increase
in telephone smashing,
523
00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:49,977
You're oncologist calling
over and over.
524
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:56,070
Now don't you worry.
I'll pick you up after surgery.
525
00:22:56,070 --> 00:22:58,942
And no, I won't ask you
how it went.
526
00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:02,076
And yes,
we can skip the pity.
527
00:23:03,469 --> 00:23:05,035
A man like you
doesn't need it.
528
00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:07,603
You're damn right.
529
00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:08,952
I know.
530
00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:10,432
Just like you should know
531
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:13,435
that your secret
is safe with me.
532
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:16,656
[Imitating lock clicking]
533
00:23:26,056 --> 00:23:27,797
Hm.
534
00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:29,930
LARRY:
Oh, Richard,
535
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:31,366
you accepted
your limitations
536
00:23:31,366 --> 00:23:32,715
and used them
to your advantage.
537
00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:34,151
Congratulations.
538
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:36,023
You still owe me 20K.
539
00:23:36,023 --> 00:23:37,938
Josh! Dope, stat!
540
00:23:37,938 --> 00:23:40,027
Okay, let's see.
Now we're back at square one.
541
00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:41,724
Great place
for a fresh start.
542
00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:44,510
You got your licence back,
you'll sell some cars, save,
543
00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,642
and in 10 years we'll have
a resilient nest egg
544
00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:48,644
worth hundreds.
Your luck is changing, buddy.
545
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:49,645
Josh!
546
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:51,168
Oh.
Weed me.
547
00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:52,822
Oh, um...
548
00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:57,044
Uh...
549
00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,482
Where'd you get
all that cabbage?
550
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:04,443
Oh, market rebounded.
551
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:06,967
Turned your 20 large
into 50 larger.
552
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,925
What the fuck?
553
00:24:08,925 --> 00:24:10,927
I don't know, man.
I'm an idiot.
554
00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:12,233
I don't know what I did
with the weed.
555
00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:14,757
No, this is enough money
to start construction
556
00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:16,063
on the Summer Wind. Yup.
557
00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:18,152
Ring-a-ding-ding, baby.
558
00:24:18,152 --> 00:24:20,633
Ring-a-ding-ding.
559
00:24:20,633 --> 00:24:29,032
♪
560
00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,860
[Sighing]
561
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,258
Finally.
562
00:24:37,258 --> 00:24:39,782
Everything's coming up Fitzy.
563
00:24:44,178 --> 00:24:54,188
♪
564
00:24:59,149 --> 00:25:08,985
♪